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Atheism – If you know for sure that in all this entire vast,
immense universe there is no God, then your level of knowledge implies
that you are God, and thus invalidates your belief.
Bananas – When God cursed the ground He said, "Let it
bring forth thorns, thistles and bananas."
Beautiful Girls – If you are not beautiful inside as well as
outside, it ain't worth a hill of beans.
City Life – A self-justifying reason to prefer country life.
Civil Rights – The rights of individuals are the
responsibility of society, and the rights of society are the
responsibility of individuals. Too far one way leads to chaos, and too far
the other way leads to tyranny. You have to have balance.
Drivers who don't use turn signals – Turn signals were
invented for those of us among the human race who are not telepathic or
clairvoyant. Please let us know what you intend to do at the intersection.
Drivers who tailgate – If my car were equipped with rear-mounted
car-to-car missiles, you'd find out in a hurry.
Environmentalism – Nature is here to enjoy, not worship.
Remember, balance…
Homosexuality – God is the one who
has a problem with it. If you don't like that, take it up with Him, not
me.
Life on other planets – Who knows? Have you been out there to
check it out? Any speculation is just that: speculation.
Linux – Absolute proof that
Microsoft is not the entire world of computers.
Microsoft – Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
(Unless you switch to Linux.)
Mosquitoes – The only purpose they seem to serve is to suck
blood and spread disease. Why were they put here in the first place?
National Forests and Parks –
Whoever came up with these ideas
ought to be made a national hero.
Night Life – God put the sun in the sky to give us light. Why
sleep while it's up and then stay up all night under artificial
illumination? Seems kind of backwards to me.
Saddam Hussein – Good riddance.
Smoking – If you insist on poisoning your lungs, do it where I
can't smell it.
Star Trek – Star Trek is great entertainment. Star Trek is not
the universe. If you are one of those people who live as though it were,
get a life. (Of course, if you absolutely insist, there is always www.startrek.com).
The Death Penalty – If we refuse to put murderers to death, we
are in effect saying that their lives are more valuable than the lives of
their victims.
The Great American Road – Don't knock it. You probably won't
find a better highway system on planet Earth. See Travels.
The U.S. Democratic Party – A good reason to vote Republican.
Toilet Paper – Roll it toward the front, please. Failure to do
so can be considered grounds for divorce.
Windows Vista – A great reason to
switch to Linux.
Windows XP – They finally did Windows right. Why change to Vista?
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